Not yet...

I've been meaning to get around to posting a blog update... I just haven't yet. Tweeting on Twitter is so much easier than sitting down and writing out a full post. Oh well. Usually when I find the time to blog, there are more pressing things to take care of: Bruce, dishes, laundry...

But know that I intend to update... soon! In the meantime, here is my Picasa web album for this month:

2009-06 June

Past Due

Today I am 1 day past my due date, and utterly miserable. I wanted to schedule an induction for today, but my doctor wasn't scheduling for today for some reason. Tomorrow? They already have two medically necessary scheduled inductions, so the hospital probably wouldn't be able to accommodate me also. So I am scheduled for induction at 7am Wednesday morning.

When I was on the phone scheduling the induction last Thursday, this Wednesday seemed too long to wait. Now that it is already Monday, I am kind of glad though. I'm giving myself more time to go into labor naturally, which is what I really want. I really don't want to be induced!!!! My plan was to labor in the jacuzzi tub (which is heavenly!), but if I get induced I will have to be hooked up to the monitors and won't be able to labor pretty much anywhere but laying in a bed.

We had a good weekend, though. Ate a lot of junk food. (It was my last pregnant weekend, give me a break!!) On Saturday we took Bruce to see Up. On Sunday we were all totally lazy and didn't really do anything. Today Bruce and I had lunch with my mother-in-law, sister-in-law and niece and then we went to the mall for a bit. Tomorrow (assuming I'm still pregnant) I have a massage. Just trying to relax and take it easy.

Picture of me at 39 weeks, 6 days:

From Pregnancy

Will She or Won't She?

I just got back from my 39 week prenatal appointment. Good news, the baby is no longer facing OP. She is OA, facing my back like she should be. She has descended further into my pelvis, although she is still not engaged. The doctor told me that I was 1cm dilated. This came as quite a surprise for me! I was 2cm last time, how could I possibly be 1cm this time!?!?!? The doctor explained that I hadn't lost any ground, it's just that when the baby's head is just sitting there, the cervix tends to close around it. He said it's totally fine and normal.

So I asked the doctor what I needed to do. I reiterated my fear of having an excessively large baby. I asked if we should schedule an ultrasound, or whether he had an idea of how large she is. He said, "Sometimes I'm more accurate than an ultrasound, but sometimes I'm a pound off. Do I think you're having a 9 pound baby? Yep." And the way that my doctor normally speaks, I fully expected, "Do I think you're having a 9 pound baby? Nope." BUT NOOOOOO. He said yep. Damn. He said I'm in a gray area where she could easily come soon. I'm not overdue... yet. But at some point I might want to consider an induction to get her out before she turns into a ten pound baby!!

So the hospital can't schedule inductions any further out than one week. So anytime between now and next Wednesday. I've decided that Friday seems too soon. I really want to give my body time to go into labor naturally. Next Wednesday is too late. I want her before then. So we're thinking next Monday. That will give us a weekend to spend time with Bruce and to prepare him for his sister's arrival. It's also after payday, so we will be able to pick up any last minute things we still want or need. Plus, Monday is far enough out that I might just go into labor on my own and not have to be induced at all!

The whole thing I'm afraid of is a repeat of Bruce's birth. I was in labor for about 16 hours from beginning to end. I pushed for three hours, but since he was face up my pushes did nothing but ram him into my pelvis. Finally the midwives performed an episiotomy and used the vacuum extractor to get Bruce out. I wish I knew why things happened that way to help me prepare for this birth. Could I not get Bruce out simply because he was face up and hooked on my pubic bone? Was it because he was 9lbs, 10oz? Was it just a nasty combination of both?

I wish I knew, because then I could relax and think to myself, "She's going to be a large baby, but at least she is in the correct position for birth." I can do it. Either way, she is going to come out. I just really don't want to do the vacuum route again. I want to it on my own! Bah!!

Either way, I'm glad to find that my stretches and exercises have helped her turn. I did so many pelvic tilts, and spent so much time on my hands and knees trying to encourage her to flip around! And she did!! Now lets just hope she stays in this correct position!

Almost...

So there you have it. 39 weeks and one day. And as big as a house. Not just any house, a MANSION. I could pop at any moment. I probably won't though.

At my 37 week appointment, I had dilated to 2cm and was 50% effaced. Since then, my friend Kalie came into town for a visit. She's from Kansas. I had to take her EVERYWHERE in Boise to show her how awesome my hometown is. We went to the MK Nature Center, a park Dave and I have been going to since we first met.



We went to Saturday Market downtown. We went to the mall and shopped for hours.

We went to the Zoo with Bruce and my sister in law, Joanna.

From May 2009

We walked MILES in a few short days. When I went to my 38 week doctor's appointment last Tuesday, I fully expected that my 2cm dilation would have increased. 3cm? Maybe 4cm?! No. Still just 2cm. I told the doctor that I had walked so much I could hardly believe that!

At that 38 week appointment, the doctor informed me that the baby's head was not engaged in my pelvis and that is why I've had so much pain in my pubic bone. Additionally, she was OP, meaning that instead of facing my spine she is facing my tummy (but still in a head down position.) I guess it's good that she hasn't engaged because she can float about and turn around and get into the correct position before she engages.

This all makes me nervous though, because Bruce was born OP. I didn't know it at the time though. I labored for hours pushing and pushing and not making any progress. He was also 10 days late, and 9 pounds, 10 ounces. He was born with midwife assistance, and they never checked me for dilation when I was pregnant. So I don't have actual facts about Bruce's birth to compare to. I don't know if Bruce had dropped by the time I was 39 weeks. I'm thinking that maybe he wasn't though. I mean, if he hadn't dropped yet, it makes a little more since that labor wouldn't start.

My biggest fear with this pregnancy is that the baby will be large. Bruce was only as large as he was because he was given an extra 10 days to cook, but these are details that are easy for my pregnant mind to forget when I'm fretting about labor. I'm afraid that the baby will be large, and now I'm afraid she'll be face up and I won't be able to push her out and they'll have to use the vacuum (like with Bruce) or I'll end up needing a c-section. This whole time I've been hoping that she'll be born early, and thus smaller and I'll go into labor and easily push her right out. Every day that she's not born is a day she is growing larger.

And I wonder, is there something wrong with my body that babies prefer to present OP? Is there something strange about the shape or tilt of my uterus that prevents the baby from engaging normally and at a normal time? Is this a coincidence, or something that is inevitable for any pregnancy that I might have?! (Although, there is NO plan for a #3)

These are the things that are swimming in my head. And stressing about them is likely part of what is preventing me from going into labor. I know this. I know I must be relaxed. But these thoughts aren't just going to go away. They're just going to be tucked away, still causing stress but from behind the scenes. So I'm going to embrace what I'm nervous about knowing that there is nothing I can do to change any of it. I'm just going to reassure myself that I have a doctor who respects me and who is very knowledgeable and experienced. Whatever happens, happens.

In the meantime, I am filling myself full of little superstitions and wives tales to try to get labor to start. I've done almost all the things I can find for naturally inducing labor. Now I'm just having fun with the superstitions. Today my shirt matches my toenails... maybe the baby will come! I bought an Us Weekly but packed it in my hospital bag, not allowing myself to read it until I am in the hospital either in labor or recovery. So many silly things that I do, thinking to myself after, "Now maybe she'll come!"

I guess only she knows when she's ready... but boy am I ready now.