Almost...

So there you have it. 39 weeks and one day. And as big as a house. Not just any house, a MANSION. I could pop at any moment. I probably won't though.

At my 37 week appointment, I had dilated to 2cm and was 50% effaced. Since then, my friend Kalie came into town for a visit. She's from Kansas. I had to take her EVERYWHERE in Boise to show her how awesome my hometown is. We went to the MK Nature Center, a park Dave and I have been going to since we first met.



We went to Saturday Market downtown. We went to the mall and shopped for hours.

We went to the Zoo with Bruce and my sister in law, Joanna.

From May 2009

We walked MILES in a few short days. When I went to my 38 week doctor's appointment last Tuesday, I fully expected that my 2cm dilation would have increased. 3cm? Maybe 4cm?! No. Still just 2cm. I told the doctor that I had walked so much I could hardly believe that!

At that 38 week appointment, the doctor informed me that the baby's head was not engaged in my pelvis and that is why I've had so much pain in my pubic bone. Additionally, she was OP, meaning that instead of facing my spine she is facing my tummy (but still in a head down position.) I guess it's good that she hasn't engaged because she can float about and turn around and get into the correct position before she engages.

This all makes me nervous though, because Bruce was born OP. I didn't know it at the time though. I labored for hours pushing and pushing and not making any progress. He was also 10 days late, and 9 pounds, 10 ounces. He was born with midwife assistance, and they never checked me for dilation when I was pregnant. So I don't have actual facts about Bruce's birth to compare to. I don't know if Bruce had dropped by the time I was 39 weeks. I'm thinking that maybe he wasn't though. I mean, if he hadn't dropped yet, it makes a little more since that labor wouldn't start.

My biggest fear with this pregnancy is that the baby will be large. Bruce was only as large as he was because he was given an extra 10 days to cook, but these are details that are easy for my pregnant mind to forget when I'm fretting about labor. I'm afraid that the baby will be large, and now I'm afraid she'll be face up and I won't be able to push her out and they'll have to use the vacuum (like with Bruce) or I'll end up needing a c-section. This whole time I've been hoping that she'll be born early, and thus smaller and I'll go into labor and easily push her right out. Every day that she's not born is a day she is growing larger.

And I wonder, is there something wrong with my body that babies prefer to present OP? Is there something strange about the shape or tilt of my uterus that prevents the baby from engaging normally and at a normal time? Is this a coincidence, or something that is inevitable for any pregnancy that I might have?! (Although, there is NO plan for a #3)

These are the things that are swimming in my head. And stressing about them is likely part of what is preventing me from going into labor. I know this. I know I must be relaxed. But these thoughts aren't just going to go away. They're just going to be tucked away, still causing stress but from behind the scenes. So I'm going to embrace what I'm nervous about knowing that there is nothing I can do to change any of it. I'm just going to reassure myself that I have a doctor who respects me and who is very knowledgeable and experienced. Whatever happens, happens.

In the meantime, I am filling myself full of little superstitions and wives tales to try to get labor to start. I've done almost all the things I can find for naturally inducing labor. Now I'm just having fun with the superstitions. Today my shirt matches my toenails... maybe the baby will come! I bought an Us Weekly but packed it in my hospital bag, not allowing myself to read it until I am in the hospital either in labor or recovery. So many silly things that I do, thinking to myself after, "Now maybe she'll come!"

I guess only she knows when she's ready... but boy am I ready now.